Thread:JeloElducal/@comment-27480112-20190614125712/@comment-26888167-20190701034920

Actually, there isn't much I can say to help you with this, except for the following things:

1 - Read my story, and notice the pattern I used. I had Alice collect information, interrogate people, find clues, etc.

2 - Red herrings. Notice how in several occasions some clues seemed to point at someone, when in reality the culprit was something different? It does no good if everything from the beginning points at the true culprit. Add in a bit of misdirection and deceiving information. Let the readers think someone else is the actual culprit before showing who it actually is.

3 - You need to plan out everything carefully. Mystery stories work off of the character finding clues, and interrogating people. Now, all of these need to make sense. This is the hard part of writing a mystery story. You need to make it so everything the detective character finds makes sense. if they find a clue, you need to make sure it makes sense for them to find that clue. If someone is a key witness, you need to give them a reason to be at the crime scene. If you place a misleading clue, you need a good explanation of why that clue was there. Everything needs to be very well calculated if you want your story to work.

For these reasons, I do believe making a mystery story might be a bit too complex for your current storywriting level. I gave a shot at it, and I still think it could've been much better than it was.