Review:Ocean Invaders

So this is actually the second story of a series but because I'm super lazy and Redfork only told me to review this one specifically, I'll just ignore that.

It opens to the best damn writing I've seen on this wikia. You get the ultimate kudos from me because I absolutely love this. There's the flaw of it sounding less like a story, and more like reading off of a list but everything else here has flaws, and this is, no offense, much better than others. Reminder that this is only about the writing style and not yet the plot.

* Red Fork: Hey, Blue Ocean! Wake up, it's breakfast time! Oh

It's script

Everything here looked like it was setting it up to be prose, but oh well. Tbqh it looks more like mix between the two, something that can yield good results but is hard to pull off properly.

don't stay on the internet until 3:00 am. But there's no reason to go on the internet that late unless

you don't mean

TOO LEWD ABORT ABORT

Th only thing we can do

I normally ignore small things like this but everything else has been perfect so far and I have to review something.

and devours all the breakfast in one bite. What, like, plates and cutlery as well? Because the last time cutlery was swallowed this happened:



* Blowy: Captain, what will we do once we reach the coast? * Captain Red Shell: We will do exactly what we planned to do. We will enter the humans' cities and eliminate them. * Gary Guppy: That sounds crazy! And I like crazy!

RIP unique characters. We have the innocent cabin boy, the evil Captain and the crazy guy.

They treat our home, the ocean, as their own trash can. They toss tons of plastic, oil, and who knows what other strange substances to the ocean, and contaminate our home. It's not the first time a fish has been killed by one of their plastic bags. Ocean Invaders, sponsored by Captain Planet.

But tbh this is a great reason to start a war. Most stories have 'muh fighting' as a reason (and let's not forget Martha) but this is a serious reason and kind of has me rooting for the bad guys.

* Blowy: They're... ponies? You're... fish?

The colossal cannonball hits both Red Fork and Blue Ocean, throwing them off the ship.

* Blast: (breathes deeply) * Red Fork: You have a pointy sword...

Red Fork then uses his magic to teleport himself behind Captain Red Shell
 * teleports=*teleports behind you*
 * -|behind=*teleports behind you* nothing personal kid
 * -|you*=Aa1.jpeg

It eventually ends with a warm and nice ending if predictable.

This was honestly the best story I have ever read on the Wiki. The plot was amazing, if slightly predictable, and the writing was top tier. 3/3.

Grammar
Completely correct, no mistakes. Yet again a 3/3.

Originality
While disappointedly having the generic ending I expected instead of a new one, the rest of this was completely original. 2.9/3

Overall
WEW LADS

This was the greatest. It would get a 10/10 but the list problem and some predicability makes it...

9/10 -