Stories: The Misfits of Scuttle Town

''When plotting a siege of Scuttle Town, the bodacious buccaneer Risky Boots comes across an odd visitor! She plots to slay it and sell it for a profit- but can she topple this formidable sea monster? (Okay, maybe not a sea monster...)''

Story
''Welcome to Scuttle Town, a bustling area of peace, when it's not under attack by a ragtag group of villains. On the coast of the city, on a beach, we see the arch-nemesis of the Locked Room Gang, Galaximus herself- catching some rays?''

''*Galaximus has the beach all to her gigantic self. Wearing soem Tinted Shades, she sips on a drink while trying to work on her tan.*'' ''Meanwhile, on the waves offshore of Scuttle Town, another baddie can be found. It's Scuttle Town's most reviled villain, the Pirate Queen herself, Risky Boots. She's failed at her aims many a time, but the persistent villains never quit. Her Tinkerbat minions are attending to her ship, cleaning it, and keeping a lookout. Except for the band, which is performing for their boss.'' A Tinkerbat with a telescope runs up to Risky. ''Later, as evening falls, Galaximus seems to be preparing for a nap. Snapping her fingers, she changes her clothes to her jammies instantly, and lays a blanket on the sand.'' ''Yawning, she lies down, dozing off quite quickly. Her snores fill the air, not to loud, but rather contrasting well with the gentle crashing of the waves. It's the perfect opportunity for Risky and her minions to strike. Docking her ship, Risky walks out, along with some of her Tinkerbats. She prepares her weaponry, dons her hat, and sips on a cup of coffee. Only when she walked on the sand did she realize who had already beat her to the beach. She can only see two gigantic, orange tentacles. Startled, she spits out her coffee.'' Walking up to the slimy tentacles that could clearly use a wash, Risky noted the odd coloration of them, the polka dots on them, and the fact that they were connected to some weird humanoid like creature. ''The Tinkerbats nod, draw their scimitars, and charge up to the tentacles, slashing away at them. Oddly, they don't seem to be making a dent, and even wackier, Galaximus is completely oblivious to their antics.'' ''Laughing, Risky draws her pistol, and lets loose with a barrage of seeker missiles. These impact with the Inkling goddess, but do not phase her. Risky then draws a big cannon, and bombards her target, still to no effect.'' ''Her face turning a bit red, Risky fires a harpoon at a tentacle, fires bombs from her pistol, and performs a series of dashing slashes with her own sword. Yet this does nothing to the Kraken-like monster. Huffing and puffing, Risky's face is now a angry, ruby red.'' Risky boards her ship, and climbs to the top deck. ''Soon enough, the skies are filled with the booming reverberations of cannon fire. Barrages rain upon the slumbering Galaximus. For the next hour and thirty seven minutes, Risky and her Tinkerbats fired at full force, until dawn struck. Galaximus was still fast asleep. Risky storms off of her ship.'' ''Risky kicks a tentacle, and when she does, a thunderous grunt can be heard. Begrudgingly, Galaximus slowly rises to a sitting position, rubbing her tentacle.''
 * Galaximus: Ah... this is the life.... A serene place away from my incompetent minions, and that stupid Locked Room Gang. And what's more- a town nearby, fresh for me to destroy! It keeps getting better and better! Sometimes, my genius even surprises me!
 * Risky: Not bad... but the accordion needs some work... Navigators! Status report!
 * Tinkerbat: ...
 * Risky: We are approaching the shore? Excellent! We shall strike at the dead of night, catching these poor souls, including that brat, unaware! Ho ho ho! Make haste, men!
 * Galaximus: Nothing like sleeping under the stars. After all, the cops haven't come yet. That's a first.
 * Risky: What in the seven seas is THAT abomination?! Is it- the creature of myth, the Kraken?
 * Tinkerbat #1: ...
 * Risky: You're right... it's unlike anything else I've ever seen! Must be a new breed... I wonder if it's... an endangered species.
 * Tinkerbat #2: ...
 * Risky: I know what to do... I'll capture it, and sell it on the pirate's market! I'll be the talk of the plundering community! And that sauna costume party I attend every year....
 * Tinkerbat #3: ...
 * Risky: It appears to be unresponsive, but I bet that's because it's sleeping. I can hear the big lug snoring. We must smite it at once, and get this cargo floating! MEN! Slice and dice!
 * Risky: Grgh... never fails... If you want something done, you have to do it yourself! One side, you wretched barnacles! Let the master work!
 * Risky: Why you little....
 * Risky: THAT'S IT! I was just gonna knock you out, but I'm gonna paint this sea RED!
 * Risky: Alright, men! Lock and load! Hit this Kraken with MAXIMUM FORCE!
 * Risky: I don't understand! How is this thing still alive, let alone still asleep?! Wake, you sea witch, RISE!
 * Galaximus: What in the- who are you?
 * Risky: Uh... um... I bet you're curious about all this, right?
 * Galaximus: You're darn tootin' I am. I'll give you ten seconds before I crush you you to a paste!

Galaximus raises her hand, ready to bring it down on Risky. Galaximus suddenly stops. ''Galaximus holds out her pinky finger, which Risky shakes. She walks backwards, laughing.''
 * Risky: I was just... I was... lost! Yeah, that's it! I thought you were a mystical sea goddess, and you could help me find... my way back home?
 * Galaximus: Yeah... I'm not buying that. I have a brain, unlike you, apparently! Farewell, peasant. Dead women tell no tales...
 * Risky: Well another siege, down the drain...
 * Galaximus: Siege? What do you mean?
 * Risky: I always try to take over this miserable town, and become the ruler of all of Sequin Land! But it appears I'll never get to it, not even when that half genie blowhard isn't around!
 * Galaximus: Say... that speaks to me. I always try to take over a certain domain, and a person, or shall I say, people, always stop me!
 * Risky: Huh? Most strange... I propose this to you, of mysterious creature of mystery- how about we team up, to destroy this city together! We can split the land, 50-50 if you wish!
 * Galaximus: An alliance? Sounds enticing. Throw in some buildings for me to eat and you got a deal!
 * Risky: At last... I have all I need to take over Sequin Land! You hear me, runts?! Bow to your new EMPRESS!

''As she walks backward,Risky bumps into a woman who just showed up, seemingly attracted to the mayhem that could be heard in the night.  Cringing, Risky slowly turns around. It could only be....'' ''Shantae! The guardian genie of Scuttle Town, and the quasher of Risky Boots are her diabolical plans!'' ''Springing into action, Shantae dukes it out with Risky, her powerful ponytail locking forces with Risky's refined swordplay. Galaximus looms above, assessing the confrontation. Eventually, Shantae lands a critical blow, sending Risky flying towards Galaximus. The force gets Risky to impact on Galaximus's stomach, almost plastered there.  Shantae performs her famous dance, and transforms into her elephant form!'' ''The half-genie charges at Galaximus. Galaximus and Risky both scream in horror, and when Galaximus tries to flee, Shantae jumps up, slamming into Galaximus's stomach with the force of an elephant times ten, hitting Risky square in the face as well. The two are then sent flying, eventually crashing into the water.'' ''And so, all is well in Sequin Land once more! For now- off in the sea, Risky can be seen floating away, using Galaximus like a makeshift boat.'' ''And that's the story. Yes, they really are both idiots, are they?''
 * Galaximus: Ahem...
 * Risky: Empresses..... Together, no one can stop us now!
 * ???: Stop it right there, Risky Boots!
 * Risky: The half-genie brat!
 * Shantae: Oh, I'm just dying to hear about this one. Who's your- friend, Risky?
 * Risky: That's- um... I never got her name.
 * Galaximus: Ugh... I am Galaximus! Goddess of Inklings, and future dominatrix of this multiverse! This town- it is a mere footstep in my ultimate goal. I know of this hero. I read about her in Pesky Protagonists Monthly!
 * Shantae: So... big! And I thought that mermaid was bad!
 * Risky: Ho ho ho! Give up, Shantae!
 * Galaximus: Or become a whole-flattened, half-genie corpse!
 * Shantae: Never!
 * Shantae: Hey, Galaximus! What's grey, stand's in a river, and doesn't get wet?
 * Galaximus: I know this one! Errr... A seahorse covered in ash?
 * Shantae: Sorry! Wrong answer!
 * Shantae: That was a weird morning... even by my standards!
 * Galaximus: Well, add one more to my list of enemies. I might have underestimated that clump of magical misery, but make no mistake, Shantae.... I'll get you, my sweet... even if I have to don a pirate hat and swab the poop deck that is your city! I can't even have a vacation, for Pete's sake!
 * Risky: Stop with the sob stories! Keep swimming!
 * Galaximus: One more order, and you'll be the minnow in the water!

THE END

Cast (In order of appearance)

 * Galaximus
 * Risky Boots (debut)
 * Various Tinkerbats
 * Shantae (debut)