Stories: Loud Up to 11: Mortal of Chaos

''Every 5 millennia, a Greek god will be sent from the pages of myth and go to Earth for 24 hours as a form of vacation, with their identities erased, their powers removed, humanized and given modern cash and a communication device. Unfortunately, Vortigon was chosen and, naturally, he uses this to his advantage to try and kill anyone he can, starting with the Loud Family. Will he succeed or will slapstick ensue?''

Cast

 * Vortigon (human mortal)


 * Loud Family

Story
''In a parking lot during a cloudy morning, thunders suddenly filled around it until lightning strikes in the middle of it, revealing a man in dark red hair, smooth caucasian skin and wearing a black toga, with some bronze shoulder and knee pads. He then gets up, moaning'' Meanwhile, at the Loud House, all the siblings are doing their own thing. Lincoln then hears a sudden thump on the entrance door, following up with an weak “ow.” ''He then sees Vortigon jumping up and down, holding his foot he presumably used. Lincoln laughs at this.''
 * Vortigon: Ohhh, dear, my head. Where the heck am I? Oh, yeah... I was sent here for vacation. Does that mean- (pulls out a twenty dollar bill and a cellphone) Yup. Modern currency and communication. Oh well! THAT doesn’t stop me from causing chaos because chaos is my job! Now, who do I kill first...? (Sees the Loud House, a couple blocks away) Such a large house... Good. (Laughs evilly)
 * Lincoln: *sighs* Nothing different ever happens in this place. It’s the same old thing, all day, everyday. I wish something new would happen....
 * Lincoln: Huh? *He answers the door.*
 * Lincoln: Ha ha!
 * Luan: Hey guys! We have a visitor a-foot! Hahahahaha! Get it?
 * Vortigon: (mumbling to himself) Well, this is certainly a start. (Yells at them) SHUT UP! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?!
 * Lynn: A person who just hurt his foot while knocking on the door?
 * Vortigon: I’m not JUST a mortal! I am the greek god of Chaos, war and weaponry! You will tremble before my power!
 * Lisa: Wait- the last time a crazed god said that, it was a bumbling squid girl who barely put up a fight. What makes you any different?
 * Vortigon: Oh, I can show you! Starting with my most powerful weapon in my arsenal! BEHOLD! (He then snaps his fingers in an attempt to make Dark Energy... with nothing happening. Confused, he keeps snapping his fingers with no avail. The Loud family laughs at this)
 * Lori: Ooooh, I’m literally sooo scared!
 * Vortigon: GRRRRRRRRR! (Mind: Should’ve known being a mortal grants you no powers) (He then grabs Lori by the collar and clutches his fist) No matter! Maybe a quick punch in the face should jog your mind!

Before Vortigon can execute the assault, Lynn tackles him back outside, rescuing Lori As the clouds dissipate and shows the sun more, Lori is on her phone, talking to her boyfriend on the couch ''As she was talking, Vortigon was using a telescope to watch the scene. Afterwards, Vortigon pulls out a bow and arrow and chuckles evilly before making aim at her. He takes the shot and fire... and misses completely only shooting one of the vases, alarming Lori. Vortigon takes cover.'' Then another arrow comes out of nowhere, this time, hitting the TV screen. Then one more arrow came, nearly hitting Lincoln on the head. Lori runs outside, and sees Vortigon. The blast was so loud, it sends him flying to a thrift store, through a closed window A few hours later, during midday, Vortigon is taking a stroll around the downtown park, counting his $20 worth of $1 dollar bills. He then sees Lisa walk out of a store, holding scientific supplies He then hides into a bush and uses to follow Lisa back to the Loud House undetected ''Voritigon then gets out a telescope and the scientific material and attempts to copy Lisa’s work. Lisa proceeds to make the concotion by mixing several materials. The material and steps were so confusing, Vortigon had trouble following it. Eventually, Lisa finished the concoction. She lifts it up in triumph.'' ''Vortigon throws his version through Lisa’s room window. Lisa ducks for cover and prepares for the explosion... only for Vortigon’s concoction to make a small explosion, along with a tiny fire; nothing major. Lisa then simply puts out the fire before walking to her room window and looks at Vortigon through the window, revealing herself to be unharmed.''
 * Lynn: That was a flagrant foul! Play by the rules.
 * Vortigon: What rules?! It was a simple fist fight and Lori’s completely defenseless!
 * Lynn: The fight has to be declared beforehand! I don’t tolerate out-of-nowhere violence!
 * Vortigon: Grrr! No matter! The next time we encounter each other will be your last, as my name... which I do not remember, will be written all over your house with your blood! (He then storms off)
 * Lincoln: I’d like to see him try that!
 * Lori: What? I know, right Bobby? No, I’m not making this up! This literally happened earlier today!
 * Lori: *peeks out from behind the couch, where she took cover* Just when I thought I seen it all...
 * Lincoln: TAKE COVER!
 * Lincoln: Wait a minute- is that freak back?
 * Vortigon: Oh shoot! (He tries to run away, but accidentally hits Lori’s car, making it go off)
 * Lori: YOU!
 * Vortigon: CARP! (makes a run for it)
 * Lori: Luna! Stop him!
 * Luna: You got it dude! *she plays a ear-bleeding tune on her guitar*
 * Luna: Thank you, Thank you.
 * Vortigon: I gotta make SOME use of this money... but how?
 * Lisa: This is just the stuff I need for my latest experiment!
 * Vortigon: Modern science! That’s it! (He then rushes to the store and grabs one of every scientific material before rushing to the cash register and placing the money down) KEEP THE CHANGE! (rushes back out)
 * Chasier: Hey-Hey, that’s eighty-five dollars... and fifty cents!
 * Lisa: Now to make the most explosive chemicals known to man!
 * Vortigon: (Mind: Explosive, you say? Hehehehe... I’ll show you explosive!)
 * Lisa: Here it is! The most powerful substance that has ever been created! Explosive, too.
 * Vortigon: AND TO TEST IT ON YOU!
 * Vortigon: Uhhhhh.... Did I miss a step?
 * Lisa: Might I ask what you are doing here?