IaLR: Coffee Break/Languages

Welcome to IaLR: Coffee Break! 'Sit back as members from the Locked Room Gang and beyond chat, hang out, debate, and have fun in this biweekly talk show story series! You'll get to see topics like cooking, languages, who is better and much more. Stay tuned for more surprises that await the crew!'

Plot
Coffee Break S1E1: Languages * episode idea by 

''The cast talks about languages, and Pearl talks about her inability to speak English. Hilarity ensues as everyone tries to figure out what she's saying, SMG4 Mario tries to speak Italian, and everyone's not just speaking English!''

Story
Live from Echo Creek, Los Angeles....it's IaLR: Coffee Break! ''Suddenly. SMG4verse Mario falls through the roof before getting up'' SMG4 Mario continues to attempt to speak in “Italian” until Mario just grabs him by the collar and throw him out of the window. Luan plays a sad trombone. ''Then Jaiden heard someone screaming. When she checked the window, she saw SMG4 Mario charging straight towards the gang.'' ''Then SMG4 Mario jumped through the window and lands on top of Jaiden. Due to SMG4 Mario's weight, she can hardly breath'' ''SMG4 Mario screams in anger and attempts to charge at Bonk Choy... Only to slip on a conviently-placed banana peel.'' Mario translates this in his mind to: “HELLO! I AM MARIO. THE REAL MARIO. AND THIS RED-CAPPED FREAK SHOW IS A FAKE! AND HE’S A REAL FATTY TOO!” Moments later, he is seen tied up in a rope, which is connected to Luigi’s Go-Kart, with Luigi in it. Tom and Marco facepalm after witnessing Star speak "Potatese".
 * Jelo: Hello and good evening, everybody! Welcome to the very first episode of Coffee Break, where we chat about what's hot and what's cool. Anyway, let's do a round of introductions! I'm Gerald Edmarkson- yep, the real Gerald Edmarkson.
 * Star: I'm Star Butterfly, and I'm a magical princess from another dimension!
 * Marco: I'm Marco Diaz, Star's best friend. You guys probably already know, I'm pretty sure you guys watch SvtFoE!
 * Tom: And I'm Tom Lucitor, prince of the Underworld, and Star's girlfriend.
 * Dynasty: Level-S Agent, Dynasty.
 * Ruby: My name is Ruby. I’m a reprogrammed RED Cyborg.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Yo, wazzup? I'm Pearl, from Off the Hook!]
 * Jelo: Wha?
 * Pearl (Inkling): [You don't understand Inklish, right?]
 * Jelo: I don't know what you're saying, but I'll just say no.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Fair enough.]
 * Marina: And I'm Marina, the other half of Off the Hook, and the only one in Off the Hook who can speak fluent English.
 * Jaiden: Hello, I'm Jaiden from Jaiden Animations!
 * CypherDen: I'm Dennise Casurra from CypherDen...
 * Rebecca: ...and I'm Rebecca Parham from Let Me Explain Studios!
 * Lime: We're the Citrus Cookies! I'm Lime.
 * Zesty: I'm Zesty!
 * Lemon: Call me Lemon.
 * Mario: It's-a me, Mario!
 * Luigi: And it's-a me, Luigi!
 * Peach, Daisy and Rosalina: We're the Princesses of the Mushroom Kingdom!
 * Luan: Heya, I'm Luan Loud!
 * Leni: I'm Leni!
 * Lisa: Hello, I am Lisa Loud.
 * Bubbles: I'm Bubbles!
 * Blossom: Blossom!
 * Buttercup: Buttercup!
 * Bliss: Blisstina!
 * Bubbles, Blossom, Buttercup and Bliss: And we're the Powerpuff Girls!
 * Pearl (SU): I'm Pearl, and these near me are Peridot and Amethyst.
 * Peridot: Hey.
 * Amethyst: 'Sup.
 * Green Shadow: My name is Penelopea, but everyone calls me Green Shadow.
 * Bonk Choy: I'm Bonk Choy!
 * Re-Peat Moss: And I'm everyone's favourite happy-go-TRICKY guy!
 * Bonk Choy: Uh, dude, your name?
 * Re-Peat Moss: Re-Peat Moss!
 * Starcade: I'm Starcade, everyone's favourite Star Fighter!
 * Kyoji: And I'm Kyoji. I'm just an Ice Ninja.
 * Diana Diamond: And we are the Gemstones of the Legendary Rainbow Gem! I'm Diana Diamond, a princess from another dimension!
 * Red Ruby: I'm Red Ruby. If you're wanting some top-notch explosions, I'm your guy!
 * Gary Garnet: I'm Gary Garnet, founder and C.E.O. of Orange Inc.
 * Toby Topaz: I'm Toby Topaz, the jolly gemstone!
 * Emma Emerald: I'm Emma Emerald, the queen of the forests!
 * Sean Sapphire: I'm Sean Sapphire, adventurer of the Sapphire Seas!
 * Amelia Amethyst: I'm Amelia Amethyst, a novice in witchcraft from Atro City!
 * CB2: You thought we didn't show up, did ya? Let us introduce ourselves formerly, as the Explodonaters. I'm Chester B. Omberstein, but everyone calls me by my nickname CB2.
 * Slick: I'm Stick!
 * Petra: He means Slick. Sorry, he's a little dimwit. Anyways, I'm Petra.
 * Minimus: And I'm the gadget guy, Minimus!
 * Gary Garnet: But I'm the gadget guy!
 * Minimus: Fine. I'm the OTHER gadget guy, you happy now?
 * Gary Garnet: Well, yes.
 * Mr. Red: (Suddenly appears) HI! I‘m Mr. Red! Leader of the Blood-Red Terrors terrorist group! Hey, this IS non-canon, right, Gerald?
 * Jelo: Uh, this is canon.
 * Vortigon: WELL, TOO BAD! ‘CAUSE IM HERE, DESPITE YOU NOT CALLING MY NAME!
 * AU Jelo: So am I, Gerald.
 * Jelo: Great, we have villains? Okay then, fine, you can chat with us here, just as long as you don't destroy everything...especially the camera.
 * Vortigon: I’m sorry- are we live?!
 * Green Shadow: Villains?
 * AU Jelo: Yes. We villains can have our own (Vortigon: HI, MA!!!) conversations, no?
 * Rebecca: So anyway, let's talk about...
 * Jelo: What?
 * Green Shadow: Hmm...languages?
 * Jelo: Good idea!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Languages, eh?]
 * Vortigon: I can speak in Greek!
 * Kyoji: For starters, I can speak Japanese.
 * Starcade: Me too! Kyoji's been teaching me that language!
 * Vortigon: Now, Greek is a very ancient language. Almost no one can speak it fluently. Allow me to demonstrate: Aftó miló se diaforetikí glóssa. Poios eínai o ilíthios tóra?
 * Star: What?
 * Kyoji: That's pretty good.
 * Starcade: Sore wa kanari yoidesu. (That's pretty good.)
 * SMG4 Mario: Oh-ho! Hello! Itsa me! Mario!
 * Jelo: Oh no.
 * SMG4 Mario: Do you all wanna hear how I speak in Spanish? Or was it Irish? Japanese? Or Italian?
 * Mario: Go away!
 * SMG4 Mario: (grabs Mario by the collar and shouts at him to his face) YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!! (Let’s go) Heeeeere we go! Babadabupi? Bebedoabababa!
 * Luigi: Ultimate facepalm. *facepalms with two hands*
 * Mario: Thank-a goodness!
 * Daisy: Oh, you got rid of him? That's a good one. He was even more annoying than me!
 * SMG4 Mario: (standing in the street) AHA! THE JOKE’S ON YOU! YOU CAN’T KILLA MA- (gets ran over by a incoming truck)
 * Rosalina: Well, we won't see him for a while.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [So anyway, I can't speak English.]
 * Vortigon: I’m sorry, I can’t speak whatever the hell YOU are speaking. Speak a language one of us can understand!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Hey, it's not my fault I can't speak what you humans and other species are speaking!]
 * Vortigon: I don’t like the tone of your voice! And I STILL don’t understand you!
 * Marina: Hey, hey, let's chill!
 * Vortigon: CHILL is not in my vocabulary!
 * Marina: (sigh)
 * Mr. Red: Hold, I might be able to call a language expert. Give me a second. (Dials a number on his phone and waits until he gets to voicemail)
 * Phone: I’m sorry, but the receiver, Doctor Zomboss, has not settled up his voicemail box system. Please try again later. Goodbye. (Dial tone)
 * Luan: Usually Luna's the music expert, but she's not here.
 * Bonk Choy: I guess you can say that's "not music to my ears".
 * Luan: Ey, good one!
 * CB2: Alright, can we get back to the topic of languages now?
 * Starcade: Hai. (Yes.)
 * Peach: You don't really have to greet us, y'know.
 * Kyoji: It's yes in Japanese, Peach.
 * Green Shadow: Yes please.
 * Amethyst: (eating a meatball sub) What about it?
 * Minimus: Isn't that what we've been talking about the whole time?
 * Amethyst: Oh!
 * Jelo: I have yet to know how Gems can speak English.
 * Pearl (SU): English has been around even before you humans "invented" it.
 * Gary Garnet: *to Jelo* Oh, do you mean us? Because English is also the common language in Gemstonia.
 * Jelo: Anyway...
 * Pearl (Inkling): [How come English is the gosh darn UNIVERSAL language in the first place?!]
 * Jelo: English.
 * Marina: She said "why is English the universal language?"
 * Jelo: I'm not a linguist for pete's sake, Pearl.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [What?! I'm just curious! And sometimes you have to make it sound serious!]
 * Jelo: There's a banana in the carriage down at Kerriway Street?
 * Green Shadow: Why don't we ask Pearl to write down whatever she wants to say to us?
 * Pearl (SU): I don't think she knows the alphabet.
 * Green Shadow: Oh. Is there anything else we can try?
 * Marina: It's useless, she also writes in Inkling language. She was curious about English being the universal language.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Hey! Don't you dare make me the punching bag through words soon!]
 * Marco: Hey, I got an idea!
 * Tom: What is it, Marco?
 * Marco: How about Marina serves as Pearl's translator?
 * CypherDen: Absolutely great idea!
 * Marina: Oh! ...I already am for those non-Inklings around since the start of our career.
 * Kyoji: Great idea!
 * CB2: About time I can hear that pearl speak.
 * Jaiden: Hooray, problem solved!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Hmph. I wish I had a different past now...]
 * Marina: Different past, Pearlie? So being from a rich family isn't enough just because they didn't teach you to speak any other languages aside from Inkling?
 * Pearl (Inkling): [That's a reason, but...! I swear I'm still good enough for everyone else!]
 * Jaiden: AAH!
 * Pearl (inkling): [Yo, someone is in trouble!]
 * Marina: In trouble? Who's doing this?
 * SMG4 Mario: PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE! I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ITALIAN! OHP PLS PLS PLS!!!!
 * Jaiden: *can't breathe* ...send...help...
 * Bonk Choy: Get off the stage!
 * SMG4 Mario: F*<K YOU, KID! YOU'RE A D*CK!
 * Slick: Hey, that's one of my clones' names!
 * Bonk Choy: *punches SMG4 Mario away* A KNOCKOUT!
 * Daisy: Congrats, ya lost.
 * Bonk Choy: Totally.
 * Pearl (Inkling): [HA! A banana peel is going to slow you down.] *Pulls out Enperry Splat Dualies* [I brought these just in case things like this happens!]
 * Marina: ...I know everyone has to be prepared to defend themselves, but you're doing it in an embarassing way, somehow!
 * Jaiden: Oh man, sweet relief! I can breathe now!
 * Green Shadow: Well, that was a close one.
 * SMG4 Mario: CAN I HAVE A SECOND CHANCE NOW!?!? (starts to cry like a baby)
 * Mario: *sigh* Fine.
 * SMG4 Mario: WHOOPEE! Heeeere we go! CIAO! IO SONO MARIO. IL VERO MARIO. E QUESTA MANIFESTAZIONE DI FREAK RED-CAPPED È UN FALSO! ED È UN VERO FATTO ANCHE!
 * Mario: You-a take that back!
 * SMG4 Mario: You can’t do shhh*********ttt. YOU CAN’T DO-
 * SMG4 Mario: (after examining the current situation he is in right now) OH SHI- (is dragged off somewhere with the Go-Kart)
 * Jelo: Huh. Oh, well...
 * Bonk Choy: We should've let me take care of it.
 * AU Jelo: Why not contain him rather than dragging him off to the middle of nowhere? It’s MUCH easier that way.
 * Star: I hate to say it, but he's a part of the cast. We can't just trap him!
 * AU Jelo: Are you sure? He has quite the criminal history...
 * Jelo: He'll get transported back to the 4th wall soon.
 * SMG4: I sure hope so... Anyway, is there any other language that you speak fluently?
 * Jelo: I only speak English fluently. I learned a bit of Japanese and French during around-the-world trips, but other than that...yeah.
 * AU Jelo: Heh. Well, inferior Jelo, I so happen to not only speak English, but speak Filipino fluently. Sobrang selos?
 * Jelo: Oh please, you're just a duplicate of me who went cuckoo-crazy and decided to kill Marco.
 * Marco: Wait, what?!
 * AU Jelo: He provoked me! If he is against the solution of all of our villain problems, then he doesn’t get the privilege to BREATHE!
 * Star: Hey, nobody kills my best friend!
 * Kyoji: Sore wa hidoi! (That's terrible!)
 * Red Ruby: What the heck are you saying?
 * Starcade: He's basically disapproving of what AU Jelo said.
 * Red Ruby: You know what, I'll let it slide.
 * Peridot: I don't think we have anything else to talk about.
 * Bliss: Well, Stephen Hawking died today, but other than that, we got nothing.
 * Bubbles: これは退屈です！(Kore wa taikutsudesu!/This is boring!)
 * Blossom: Whoa, you can speak Japanese?
 * Kyoji: That's great!
 * Peach: I agree!
 * Buttercup: Meh, I'm not into it.
 * Bubbles: わぁ、ありがとう！(Wa~a, arigatō!/Wow, thank you!)
 * Jelo: Oh! Milo learned Spanish class. I heard Diogee was there too.
 * Bonk Choy: Hey, I remember something! I took German classes when I was a kid! Wanna hear some German?
 * Jelo: Okay.
 * Bonk Choy: Anfrage akzeptiert. (Request accepted.)
 * Re-Peat Moss: Could you teach me German, Bonk Choy?
 * Bonk Choy: Nein. (No.)
 * Re-Peat Moss: You're gonna give me NINE classes?
 * Bonk Choy: Nein is German for no!
 * Re-Peat Moss: Aw man!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Gee, why can't everyone speak Inkling instead?! It would be easier for me, since I don't understand some of your words sometimes!]
 * Marina: Pearl said "Why can't everyone speak Inkling, as it would be easier for me to understand?"
 * Jelo: Pearl, what if I told you all Inklings need to speak English rather than Inkling instead?
 * Pearl (Inkling): [...Touche.]
 * Gary Garnet: It's a universal language!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [That's why I was wondering it was the universal language!]
 * Green Shadow: Welp, anyone else can speak different languages?
 * Slick: Well, I can! *speaks gibberish*
 * CB2: What kind of language is that?
 * Slick: Potatese. The language of the potato.
 * Star: Ooh! I can speak Potatese too! *speaks gibberish*
 * CB2: No one knows that!
 * Petra: Ignore him, CB2. It's just his usual random gibberish.
 * Green Shadow: Moving on...
 * Star: ああ！ああ！話すのは私の番でしょうか？(Ā! Ā! Hanasu no wa watashi no bandeshou ka?/Oh! Oh! Is it my turn to speak?)
 * Starcade: Watashi wa sō omou. (I guess so.)
 * Marco: *blushing* I honestly think you sound cute when you speak in Japanese.
 * Starcade: Who? Star?
 * Marco: *still blushing* Yeah.
 * Starcade: Kūru. (Cool.)
 * Kyoji: Star learns Japanese too?
 * Star: うん！(Un!/Yup!) I still speak English most of the time.
 * Kyoji: Okay.
 * Toby Topaz: You mean you had Japanese classes in Mewni, Star?
 * Star: Nope! I went to Japanese classes.
 * Toby Topaz: I see.
 * Slick: Can we go back to Potatese now?
 * CB2: No. NO!!!
 * Slick: Okay.
 * Star: *blushing* うわー、本当に私の声がかわいいと思うよ、マルコ？(Uwa ̄, hontōni watashi no koe ga kawaī to omou yo, Maruko?/Wow, you really think my voice sounds cute, Marco?)
 * Marco: *blushing* Yes!
 * Kyoji: Soredemo watashi wa sore ga tadashī koto o mitomenakereba naranai. (Even I have to admit that's true.)
 * Starcade: Watashi wa dōnano? (How about me?)
 * Kyoji: Mā, anata mo kawaīdesu ne. (Well, you sound cute too.)
 * Marco: Yes, she does.
 * Star: はい, スターカード! (Hai, Sutākādo-chan!/Yes, Starcade!)
 * Slick: How about Bananese? I'm equally fluent in that!
 * CB2: That sounds worse than Potatese!
 * Amethyst: *shapeshifts into a banana* Oh, please. Bananese is the best! Watch me. *speaks Bananese, which is just singing Peanut Butter Jelly Time*
 * Slick: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Oh, and CB2, have you heard about Cherryese?
 * CB2: I swear, that's the last thing I wanna hear right now.
 * Star: So, what now?
 * Green Shadow: I remember this language once, which is similar to Pig Latin, but it's the peashooter tribal version - Peakea language!
 * Kyoji: Peakea?
 * Green Shadow: Apparently it's the tribe of native peas we once visited. Basically, instead of words ending with -ay from Pig Latin, we have -ea!
 * Mr. Red: (takes a slurp of his coffee) WOAH! Man, I never had coffee like this in a long while! How come only NOW do I get the chance to take a shot with this?
 * Pearl (SU): The coffee machine was under repair.
 * Mr. Red: Well, whoever repaired it did a helluva good job at it! (takes another slurp of it. Then, Pearl (SU) saw his hand shaking) ... I think I'll go home and read all of the encyclopedias...
 * Pearl (SU): Uh, are you okay?
 * Marina: So, guys? If Pearl can speak Inkling... [I can speak a similar language, too.]
 * Pearl (Inkling): [Octoling... Or Octarian language? Which one is it?!]
 * Marina: Many people interpret it as Octoling language, but others call it as Octarian language.
 * Jelo: Actually, the Inkling language is called "Inklish". Same goes for Octarian; it's called "Octolish".
 * Marina: Huh? That's different from what we know?
 * SMG4 Mario: (busts in) IIIIII'MMMM... B- (Pearl and Marina points their Splatguns at him) ... GOOOONE!!! (makes a run for it)
 * Marina: Man, that was cool! I even said "delet this" in my mind!
 * Pearl (Inkling): [And don't come back, you little piece of foolishery!]
 * Marina: "Little piece of foolishery"... I can see why that Mario is one.
 * Mario: I swear, I'm the only sane Mario in this universe.
 * Mr. Red: (after reading 8 encyclopedias) DONE! I AM NOW FLUENT IN EVERY LANGUAGE POSSIBLE!!! ¡ESO NO ES POSIBLE EN MI LIBRO! しかし、何とか！
 * Pearl (Inkling): [...What.]
 * Marina: Looks like Pearlie doesn't understand what you're saying.

Trivia

 * Some of the dialogue were made with Google Translate, so some translations may be inaccurate.
 * There was an additional segment dedicated to late cosmologist Stephen Hawking, but it was removed.