Stories: A Sluggish Solution

''Jenny, Nebula and Rose have realized a fatal flaw in their battle strategy- their subpar gear! They lack the quality that they need to get the most out of battling, and the Super Sea Snails, which are needed to upgrade gear, is a resource they don’t have. With no Splatfest imminent, Jack provides the answer they need- a strike right into the heart of Galaximus’s Lair. With some helping hands at their side, can the foursome successfully break into the twisted lair and make off with a good haul? Or will their antics awaken the sleeping giant?''

Cast

 * Jenny
 * Galaximus
 * Nebula
 * Rose
 * Jack
 * Squidkiller
 * Lincoln
 * Lisa
 * Lori
 * Leni
 * Neptune
 * Nepgear
 * Agent 3
 * Bonnie/Shadow Bonnie
 * Ib

Story
''Jenny, Nebula, Rose, and Jack are in the midst of a series of Turf Wars- and they are bombing- hard. While they wait for their next battle, they try and figure out what the problem is.'' ''Jack leads the way out of Deca Tower, but the foursome is surprised to find Lisa Loud waiting outside, try8ng to talk to the Inklings in Inkopolis Square.  The action shifts to the Loud House- there, the team tells Lisa that they must breach the home of the most feared villain on Earth.'' Lori eventually walks into Lisa’s room. Lori stops cold, and peeks into Lisa’s room. ''And so, the group sets out on their quest. But as the walk out, they found one more Loud sibling tagging along...'' Leni looks puzzled ''Their adventures next lead them towards a small group gathering. Neptune, Nepgear, Ib, Bonnie, and what appears to be an Agent Inkling all in one place.'' ''Jenny, Nebula, Lincoln and Lori all have their mouths agape in terrified awe. Jack looks unfazed at this, likely because of hos personal experience, and Lisa looks more puzzled than anything. Leni, meanwhile, is looking at Jenny’s Takroka Mesh'' "Thank you for the information."
 * Jenny: Alright, everyone. We’ve been hitting a major rough patch in our last few battles, but why?
 * Nebula: It cannot be our weapons- we‘ve been using them forver, and we have succeeded with them.
 * Rose: Maybe our opponents are just too good...
 * Jack: Actually, I think I know the problem- our gear.
 * Nebula: What? I- listen, bud. This Power Armor is not compact, but it gets the job done!
 * Jack: No, not like that! I mean, the quality of our gear might not be up to snuff with the premium gear, like the ones our opponents have.
 * Jenny: And you know this, how?
 * Jack: Pick enough fights like I do, and you get a sense for how to succeed. I think that cycloptic orange dude outside Deca Tower can help us.
 * Nebula: You mean Murch? But he only accepts Super Sea Snails! We have none of those, and I doubt a Splatfest is near.
 * Jack: Not to worry! I know a perfect place to get them! Before Galaximus attacked the city, I knew she was an outright beast in Splatfests. She has a haul of those things! Since she is not allowed to participate in Turf Wars anymore, I can only assume she has them stashed in her lair.
 * Rose: Wait- you mean we should *gulps* commit a robbery?
 * Jenny: Well.... think about it- she almost robbed us all of our lives! This could be a way to get back at her!
 * Nebula: I agree.
 * Jack: Then it’s settled! We gotta get those snails! TO THE LAIR!
 * Jenny: Lisa? What are you doing here?
 * Lisa: Hmm? Oh, greetings, blue squid and friends. I have come here to conduct some field research on these squid-human hybrids. Street name- Inklings.
 * Rose: What about Octolings?
 * Lisa: Wait- there are two species here? Science always continues to baffle me.
 * Jenny: Hey, you... junior scientist- care to join us a a heist?
 * Lisa: A heist? I see no point in that.
 * Jenny: But it’s important! It could- be a scientific revolution! You could conduct research on the Super Sea Snails! They are a wonderful resource that can enhance clothing!
 * Lisa: Enhance clothing?! Impossible.... yet, potentially a major breakthrough! Wait a minute- where exactly are these things located?
 * Nebula: Funny you should ask.... you see-
 * Lisa: They belong to that oversized sister of Jennys?!
 * Jack: Unfortunately....
 * Lisa: And what worries me is that she has been largely quiet lately- to us, at least. I instructed Lori to keep tabs on her activity- phones are capable of that, I suppose. LORI!
 * Lori: Do you mind, Lisa?! I’m trying to talk to Bobby!
 * Lisa: Any trace of Galaximus?
 * Lori: Still nothing. Now, unless it’s a life or death situation, I suggest you think twice before intruding on my life! *she angrily storms out*
 * Lisa: Very well then- I guess you don’t want- enhanced clothes.
 * Lori: Did you say- enhanched clothes?
 * Jenny: I don’t think it works on human-
 * Lisa: *she covers Jenny’s mouth* Yes indeed! Enhanced clothes!
 * Lori: Well- I suppose you could count me in on this. Besides, I have a date tommorow, and I need something that literally shines.
 * Lisa: Then it’s settled! Off we go!
 * Lincoln: I heard Lori yelling- is it safe to come out now?
 * Jenny: Well, we were just off to go on a heist in Galaximus’s Lair.
 * Lincoln: Really? Can I come? I always wanted to see what kind of place she lived in.
 * Jenny: Sure, Lincoln!
 * Leni: Hiiiiii guys!
 * Lori: *groans* Leni, this is a really dangerous scenario for you.
 * Lori: I know you like fashion, but... oh, what the heck. But if you screw up once, you are Galaximus food.
 * Leni: Funny- I don’t look like roasted calamari.
 * Jack: Alright, everyone! Lets move out!
 * Nepgear: Checkmate!
 * Neptune: Oh come on!
 * Nepgear: *laughs* You need to stop challenging me to board games I made myself...
 * Ib: I'm with Nepgear. What a dumb move.
 * Neptune: But what was I supposed to do?! We need quality sister time!
 * Ib: Wrong time, wrong place.
 * Bonnie: What did you three lose, anyway? Your homes last time?
 * Ib: Yeah.
 * Bonnie: Cute. I lost more than that. My friends. Family. My audience. And my purpose for my construction is now shattered. What is an entertainment robot to do without it?
 * ???: *inside Bonnie's head* Crush all of them who stand in your way...
 * Agent Inkling: *laughs* You're talking to the wrong people, bunny boy.
 * Jenny: Hello, everyone!
 * Neptune: Eyo! What's up? Nothing new? Maybe? I dunno, I'm just getting booored!
 * Nepgear: What she means to say is 'hi', 'how you doing' and 'what's new'.
 * Jack: You are craving something new! Then, boy, do I have the proposition for you!
 * Agent Inkling: Try not to bore us. What you got?
 * Jack: It’s a dangerous mission, but the rewards could be incredible! Who among you are brave enough to venture into the lair of the most feared of all cephalopod-human hybrid?
 * Nebula: Dun dun, DUN!
 * Lori: Look, we’re invading Galaximus’s Lair to steal these snails which, apparently, can enhance clothing. Seems I’m the only one here that can put things into literal sense.
 * Agent Inkling: I know 'em. Super Sea Snails.
 * Lisa: Calculating our combined strength, along with the fortifications of Galaximus’s Lair, our chances of survival are currently.... negative 153.
 * Lincoln: Boy, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine??
 * Agent Inkling: Mm, well... Death traps, hordes of goons... Nothing I've not dealt with before. I'm in.
 * Neptune: I could use the excercise! Let's do dis!
 * Nepgear: I'm not too sure... To be honest. Considering who it is?
 * Nebula: But we have bested her several times before! Anytime she tries to destroy us, she’ll fall flat on her face, every single time!
 * Bonnie: Then why do you make it sound dangerous? It can't be.
 * ???: *inside Bonnie's head* Nothing is dangerous if you take it with the right approach...
 * Rose: Guys, have you any idea what Galaximus does to intruders?
 * Jenny: Wait- you know what happens?
 * Rose: *nods* I used to be in the Galactic Army, remember? Why, I recall this one night... I was fast asleep, dreaming about something, can’t seem to remember what. But, anyways, I was awoken by a loud, thunderous noise. Startled, I peeked out of my room, and there I saw a trio of Inklings. I’m unsure of what they wanted to do, but they made too much ruckus in accomplishing it. Galaximus caught them, and carried them off. My curiousity peaked, a tiptoed after them, careful not to make a sound. As a matter of fact, I’m sure my life would be in jeopardy if Galaximus found out I was following her. She went into her room, and slammed the door. Luckily, being such a huge door for her size, I found a little crack to sneak in. What follows is something I can only describe as gruesome. She proceeded to devour them in the slowest, most painful way possible, as they begged for mercy and forgiveness. I quickly left the room, and on my way back to my room, I could still hear the screaming of the poor squids, and the maniacal laughter of that immortal behemoth.
 * Leni: Were hats like this always in style?
 * Agent 3: *sighs, readies her own gear* Does it matter or not to you?
 * Bonnie: Wait, how valuable even are these things? You know, just so I know what I'm missing out on.
 * Agent 3: Ah, you know - tons.

''Bonnie seems to get a black aura flooding from his arms and his legs into his eyes as he collapses - and a black cocoon forms. Sounds of mechanical parts combining sound out as the cocoon eventually fades and reveals a pitch black version - fully fixed - in his place.'' ''The group procesds to run off to Galaximus’s Lair. Strangely, the entrance is unguarded.'' ''Jack lets out a ear-shattering battle cry, and kicks the door. But it’s too strong for him- he recoils in pain, jumping up and down, uttering some Inkling words. He then proceeds to calmly open the front door. The group sees an Octoling playing fetch with a Chain Chomp, and some Twintacle Octotroopers taking a nap.  As if that triggered something, a army of Octosnipers and Skeleton Goonies appear and begin to attack.'' ''Meanwhile, Shadow Bonnie is trying to locate Galaximus and inform her of the attackers. Eventually, he comes across Squidkiller.''
 * ???: It is good to be back!
 * Neptune: What the hell just happened?
 * Ib: Yeah, uh, explain?
 * Leni: I thought that butterflies came out of cocoons.
 * Jack: What- is- happening?
 * ???: Oh, that's easy. Your friend of which there was is my host. I live in the same mechanical body as him, and I grow stronger each passing second in negativity. I am his power, goals, and troubles reimagined into a stronger entity - but I can only promise you that you'll find that out the hard way...
 * Ib: What do you mean?
 * ???: I mean that I can't stick around. I have information to relay to the goddess. Shadow Bonnie - out. *warps away*
 * Ib: *pouty face* Well, there goes the element of surprise.
 * Jenny: We have to get a move on! If she finds out that we are coming, it‘s curtains!
 * Neptune: I agree! Let's go!
 * Agent 3: ...*nods* Right! Come on!
 * Jenny: Here we are- this harrowed place....
 * Ib: Let's just get in and get out - do what we said to do, and leave.
 * Nepgear: Right. We can probably expect to find not only Galaximus, obviously, but some minions and maybe even Shadow Bonnie inside. Here's hoping they don't rout us...
 * Jack: *gets out his Hydra Splatling* Well, we’ll be ready for them. Preapre yourselves...
 * Lisa: You were saying about the guards?
 * Agent 3: Oh, please. That's hilarious. *pulls out her Blaster* If it gets any worse than this, we're in trouble.
 * Neptune: Right. *spawns swords in both hands* Then let's hope it doesn't.
 * Rose: It’s almost too easy....
 * Jack: Well, that escalated quickly. *he starts to charge his Hydra Splatling*
 * Agent 3: I got this. *seems to spontaneously dash in the midst of all of them, and fires her Blaster - the shots go straight up and blast the enemies with a noticeably large blast radius*
 * Nepgear: Did you actually need to do that?
 * Agent 3: No, but it felt cool.
 * Squidkiller: You! What are you doing here?
 * S.Bon: Oh, you know, going to inform the giant squid that intruders happen to be invading as we speak. They are heading to where the supposed "Super Sea Snails" are kept.
 * Squidkiller: Hmm..... Super Sea Snails. That’s one surefire way for her to lose her cool..
 * S.Bon: Well, would she rather lose her cool, or lose the fortune of each individual snail combined?
 * Squidkiller: Good point. Although, trouble is, I’m not entirely sure where she is right now.
 * S.Bon: Ah, that's a problem... Well, shoot. I guess I'll have to search for a while before the invaders get too far.
 * Squidkiller: We should, quickly. I’ll be dead meat if they manage to escape.
 * S.Bon: For your sake, and for her sake - let's not waste time and inform her of this predicament right away!

''And so, the two run off, eventually reaching Galaximus’s room. The open the door, and see the gigantic goddess playing with a model city. Well, she’s not really playing with it as much as she’s stomping it to bits.''
 * Squidkiller: The only place I could assume she is in right now is in her room- maybe planning something, taking a nap, or exterminating her victims. That last part might get a little traumatizing. Lets go!
 * S.Bon: *clears throat* Sorry to interrupt.
 * Galaximus: What was that? I heard a tiny noise.... EEK! There are mice in here! *she searches around, and eventually finds her Splat Roller* Alright, where are you! I’m gonna- *she sees Shadow Bonnie in the distance, but is unable to make him out* AHA! *she charges at Shadow Bonnie, with her Splat Roller raised* There’s more than one way to kill a- wait.... Is that you, Shadow Bonnie?
 * S.Bon: Hi there, how's it going? Love to talk more, but before you turn me into leftovers, I'd like to pass this message on - you've got an intruder problem, and they seek your supply of Super Sea Snails.
 * Galaximus: Intruders? MY Super Sea Snails?! Don’t mortals know the first rule about me? Never trespass in my lair! Who are these intruders anyway??
 * S.Bon: My radars have sensed a varied range of species. Inklings. Humans. CPUs. Those are the intruders, and as we speak, they have already breached the entrance due to the guards there having given up to the bed bugs.
 * Galaximus: *her eyes start glowing red, and in her rage, shoot red hot lasers that pierce through the walls* Why those little... Those fools have commited their biggest blunder yet. This is my home turf! My lair! They will be as lost as a junior explorer on Mount Everest! All I need to do is track them down, and pick them off, one by one! They may think size doesn't matter, but before the can blink, those bugs will be MINE! Now, I just gotta find them. But how hard could that be?
 * S.Bon: Reasonably tricky, actually - my radars sense they have divided themselves into different groups. I do not know who is where, but they are all heading towards the same place.
 * Galaximus: Bah! I have to give them credit for that idea, but eventually, they’ll be on their knees, begging for mercy! MWUHAHAHAHA! *she walks out, laughing*

Meanwhile, Jenny, Nebula, Rose, and Jack are taking their own path through the lair. "You would be right - but I cannot let you reach them.
 * S.Bon: I might as well visit one of the groups... personally... *laughs and warps away*
 * Jack: I have no idea where they are, but I’m almost complrtely sure that these Super Sea Snails are well hidden.

Shadow Bonnie appears in the way, staring down all 4 of them. ''The timing could not have been better. Just as Shadow Bonnie warped away, Galaximus, looking for the hapless intruders, found the unconscious foursome on the ground.'' ''Meanwhile, Squidkiller is looking around for the rest for the rest of the intruders. Eventually, she sees Ib and Agent 3 walking down a corridor. She pops out and ambushes them.'' Squidkiller then runs at Ib, and with her Roller, shoves it at her, pinning Ib to the wall.
 * S.Bon: Hm, quite the mixed back. Sister(s), love problems, rat from underground - I reckon I might actually enjoy myself! You know, it's sort of sad that we have to pick you off in seperate groups, but that means the weaker groups will just be easy prey to us... *white eyes turn a bright red and seems to make an indestructible orb around the group and himself* You're stuck in here with 'me' now... Let's dance. *eyes turn to normal as he taunts the group*
 * Jenny: With pleasure! As they say, it takes two to tango! *she throws a Splat Bomb to the left of Shadow Bonnie in an attempt to distract him, then charges at him with her Inkbrush*
 * S.Bon: That is true, but...! *shoots the bomb with a laser and warps above the Inkbrush* Rules are made to be broken! *blasts Jenny with a point blank laser*
 * Nebula: Hey! Leave my sister alone! *she digs out her Power Helmet, and puts it on. With a press of a button on the top of it, the rest of her Power Suit unfolds. She activates the thrusters on her boots, and flanks around Shadow Bonnie, dumping ink on him with her Tri-Slosher.*
 * S.Bon: *endures the hit but warps onto the Power Suit and claws into it* Nice technology. Would be a shame if I... did this? *seems to drain all the electricity out of it, and then turns to Jack and Rose - using the electricity he absorbed to send an enlarging vortex their way*
 * Jack: I got your back, Delicate Flower! *he jumps up in a Splashdown attack, and the resulting explosion acts as a shield. Using the ink as concealment, Rose charges forward with her Octoshot in hand, and attempts to gun Shadow Bonnie down*
 * S.Bon: *slips into the ground as a shadow, then re-emerges to absorb the remains of the vortex* I will admit, I may have underestimated this group of 4... But I've still got a few tricks to use of my own... This one, for example... Can be a little... catastrophic. *eyes go red and dissolves into different body parts, which all circle the group and shoot smaller laser beams at them which track their movement - and when the group is all gathered, the laser strength increases greatly and blasts them all at once*
 * Nebula: He's.... too strong...
 * Rose: How humiliating.... losing to just one opponent.
 * Jack: No- you can't win! *he struggles, but gets up, and lifts his Hydra Splatling, and begins to charge it* I WON'T LET YOU WIN!
 * S.Bon: *re-assembles* Oh yeah? Come on then! Prove it!
 * Jack: And prove it I will! *he yells and lets loose a full powered barrage of fire. He swims around to refill his ink and throws an Autobomb, them swims around and does so again. He caps it off with an up close and personal Splashdown. Exhausted, he breathes heavily, waiting to see if he has triumphed.**
 * S.Bon: *seems damaged, but still standing* Powerful, but... It's not enough. *It looks like he used Jenny as a shield upon further inspection, and had a vortex of all the ink leftover in front of him* ...Goodbye. *launches the void as it pulls in all 4 of them into it's painful and inky range*
 * Jenny: Hey! We were not using the same ink color!
 * Nebula: This hurts! A lot!
 * Rose: Fading to black.... and blue, and green....
 * S.Bon: And... curtains! *the votex explodes, rendering all 4 of them unconsious, laughing triumphantly* ...That was very colourful indeed. I just hope some of the other groups 'are' weaker than this one.
 * Galaximus: Well, well, well. Look what we have here. The four individuals who thought they were strong enough to break into my lair and come out alive. My ex-boyfriend, my former minion, and my good for nothing sisters! And here they are, defeated, and at my mercy! *she reaches down and grabs them in her hand, and proceeds to take them somewhere.* It's time for some well warranted revenge! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
 * Squidkiller: That's far enough, you two. Intruders at the presence of my lord cannot and will not be tolerated. I suggest you turn tail and run now, before you face your untimely doom.
 * Agent 3: I'm sorry, do we look like we're going anywhere? Me and this kid here have our eyes on something, and if you think we're scared of some seafood, you're talking to the wrong people.
 * Ib: *seems to nervously peek out from behind 3, then goes back, showing a somewhat brave, fierce glance for when she appeared*
 * Squidkiller: *giggles* How adorable. It seems we have a friendship between an Inkling and a human child, both thinking they are stronger than me, the right hand octopus of the future goddess of the multiverse. And I thought heroes like you were smart- but I guess you are as dumb as us villains. As the queen of the Octarians, this is as far as I'll allow you to go. *she draws a Octo Blaster* If you are brave enough, come at me!
 * Agent 3: Gladly! *puts her Blaster away and swaps it for her Dualies and began firing with noticeably more range*
 * Ib: *growls and sprouts what appear to be seed turrets, firing at Squidkiller - the seeds themselves seemed sharp and rough*
 * Squidkiller: *Squikiller dodges the shots from Agent 3's Daulies, and blasted the seeds out of the sky* Oh my, Agent 3. You and your complex weapons. No matter! *Intending for a one on one conflict, she swims towards Ib* Hello there, little one. That's a really nice flower you have there! Would you mind if I- took a closer look?
 * Ib: *stares into her soul* I do mind, acgtually - and I will not allow you to harm it. *thorned vines rush from the ground to entangle Squidkiller and push her back*
 * Squidkiller: That power- in order, I need to destroy the source! *using her acrobatic skills, she jumps all around Ib to confuse her. When she is in the optimal position, she opens fire on Ib's flower*
 * Agent 3: Coming through! *uses a Splashdown to block the shots at Ib's flower, so she is safe*
 * Ib: *now safe, the seed shooters merge into a seed gatling and lock aim on Squidkiller, pelting her with dozens of seeds a second* ...That was close.
 * Squidkiller: *she switches to her Octo Roller, and performs a huge leap, and lands behind Agent 3* Oh, hello, 3. And goodbye! *she swings her roller on top of Agent 3*
 * Agent 3: *gasps, hit and flies into the wall* Ouch...
 * Ib: *startled* 3! *tries to run over to 3 to shield her*
 * Squidkiller: What a shame. And I had fun playing with you guys, too. But no matter what you try, the Galactic Army will always prevail. Any last words?
 * Ib: ...That didn't hurt.  How's that for last words? *a giant vine fist punches Squidkiller upwards, then diagonally down and away from Ib while she gets free from the wall*
 * Squidkiller: Well, you are stronger than I ever envisioned, I'll give you that. *she switches to an Octo Charger* But this game ends now! *she throws a Splat Bomb, and its explosion traps Ib in a puddle of ink, giving Squidkiller the perfect opportunity to take aim at her flower*