User blog:CITRONtanker/Cartoon Calamities: Episode 1 A Pal for Gary

Screw this episode. Honestly.

I'm going to come out and say this- A Pal for Gary is one of the worst pieces of animation I have ever seen in my life, rivaling things such as The Emoji Movie and Breadwinners. This episode did to me what nothing else can, however- it angered me to no ends, and these days, I flat-out can not watch this episode without wanting to take an axe to my TV screen. It features flanderization beyond compare, pet abuse, and one of the worst endings to any Spongebob episode ever. Do you like seeing characters in pain? Do you like seeing a character be an oblivious jerk? If you do, than you must love this episode. But for everyone else, this episode is nearly- no, it is unwatchable. I cannot fathom the mind who would find any enjoyment out of this pile of garbage! Let me put it this way- its incredibly infuriaiting to watch, Spongebob is soooo unlikeable, and I get more humor of watching Aku order pizza than watching this thing!

So, we begin the episode by showing Spongebob might have a shread of lovability for Gary, like he had for ''SIX BLOODY SEASONS! ''After Gary follows Spongebob around for a while, Spongebob goes off to work. But while he is working, Spongebob faces a dilema- he thinks that Gary is lonely while he is away. Look, I know this show's continuity is awful, but come on- Gary has never been lonely before or since, and Spongebob should know that! I get it- Spongebob is oblivious to the world around him, but it does not make it any less jarring. On his way home, Spongebob comes across a market that is selling pets, and, hoping to cure Gary's lonliness (which he does not really have) Spongebob purchases one of the pets, despite the warnings the shopkeeper gave him about the fact that these pets become agressive around other pets. Or should I say, Spongebob '''steals it. '''I'm not kidding- he literally steals the pet without paying for it!

What follows is one of the most insufferable things I have ever seen in my life. Spongebob insists that Gary hits off with Puffy Fluffy (lets just roll with that name, it'll be over faster.) Gary tries to be friendly, but Fluffy eats his food, and scraes poor Gary. But whta does dumb ol' Squarepants do? 'HE SCOLDS GARY FOR IT. 'He magically beleives that it's Gary's fault for this horror pet ruining him! The next few minutes are just like this, only worse.

But none of that is compared to the second half....... UGH.....

As Spongebob goes to bed, Puffy Fluffy morphs into a huge monster and proceeds to damage Spongebob's belongings and furniture. Gary eventually catches wind of this, and tries to stop him. Gary then gets chased, attacked, and then cornered by this Leviathan horror. When Spongebob wakes up, he sees all the damage, and guess who he thinks did it?! Spoiler alert: it's not Fluffy.

When Spongebob enters the kitchen, he sees Puffy about to eat Gary alive, and guess what happens- you'll never guess it. 'GRRRRRRGH! 'The scene is the worse, and I mean the worse, in animation history! How can one be so blind! When Scumbob BratPants  scolds Gary, Fluffy puts gary down and takes Spongebob, who sees it a sign of affection. Gary then decides to step in and save his owner. He lassos Fluffy, and causes the gigantic oaf to crash through the front of Spongebob's house, and causing him to run away, never to be seen again- I HOPE. And guess what? '''GUESS WHAT? 'Spongebob is angry at Gary for saving his life. ''You know, it I was just saved by someone, it might be nice to, I don't know- thank them? All this terrible treatment of Gary, who just wnated to have a nice, normal day. And to top it off, poor Gary has to work at the Krusty Krab.

(CITRON unleashes a torent of angry screams)

'OH, YOU ROTTEN 11 MINUTES OF LIVE THAT MAKES ME LONG FOR PAINT DRYING! YOU ARE JUST- AUGH!'

This episode is legendarily bad, beyond unwatchable! Every second of it feels like a kick to me whole body! It;s one of the worst- oh you know what I mean! I will never, ever, watch this thing again!

It's over..... it's finally over. The beast- has been slayed- but its scars shall never heal from me. Why did I do it? I did it for you! So no one else must endure the pain of this vile form of animation! If you are, dear friend- dang insane enough to take this episode on- you have my sympathies. Be strong- be brave- be-warrrrreeeee.

Final Score: -999999999999....