Thread:JeloElducal/@comment-31727837-20180516155322/@comment-26888167-20180519035501

Jelo, here's the point. Your stories are good and interesting. And believe me, for the most part, I always start the story engaged in the plot. However, the trouble usually arises during the middle part of the story. Random stuff happens, the plot gets unfocused, etc. I think that happened with TNoI. I loved the idea at first, but then the plot just got unfocused and lost. What's the story going to be then? They're just going to train during the entire story? See, the problem is that the plot isn't progressing at all.

There's a reason why I think the Jaidenbot Attack was one of your best stories. It has a clear plot, and it follows it. It's a focused plot. And no point it feels like the plot is lost and the story is going nowhere. Every part of the story builds up to the next one, and makes a cohesive whole all together.

This is, for example, what you had in All that Glitters. I think what happens is that you try to extend your stories by adding filler content that isn't really following the plot. That's why I lost interest in All That Glitters during the second half. The plot loses focus. It passed from being an action filled story, to a pointless scavenger hunt that came out of nowhere.

I think the same thing happened to Coffee Break and TNoI. The storyis good, but you failed to keep yourr story focused on a plot. A good story doesn't have to be long. As long as your story tells a good story, and you focus on the story you're telling, you're good. Coffee Break added an unnecessary obstacle race, that by the way, doesn't fit at all with anything else in the series of Coffee Break. TNoI got boring because the plot is stuck in the same place. They're just training forever. Nothing interesting is going on.

The main key to a good story is the plot. If you don't take care of your plot, the entire story will fall apart, no matter what you do. You need to learn to focus your stories' plots in order to have successful stories. I recommend you read your story of the Jaidenbot Attack. Read some of our stories in HoEC. Try to see what keeps the plot engaging and interesting. That's what you should go for. If your plot is exciting, and no part of your story feels like unnecessary filler content, then you're good.

Sorry for the long reply, but I felt like doing a deeper analysis of the situation here. Don't feel bad, no one starts out knowing it all. But you can use this to improve and become a better writer overall. Don't see it as criticism, see at as friendly advice.