Stories: A Sluggish Solution

''Jenny, Nebula and Rose have realized a fatal flaw in their battle strategy- their subpar gear! They lack the quality that they need to get the most out of battling, and the Super Sea Snails, which are needed to upgrade gear, is a respurce they don’t have. With no Splatfest imminent, Jack provides the answer they need- a strike right into the heart of Galaximus’s Lair. With some helping hands at their side, can the foursome successfully break into the twisted lair and make off with a good haul? Or will their antics awaken the sleeping giant?''

Cast

 * Jenny
 * Galaximus
 * Nebula
 * Rose
 * Jack
 * Squidkiller
 * Lincoln
 * Lisa
 * Lori
 * Leni
 * Neptune
 * Nepgear
 * Agent 3
 * Bonnie/Shadow Bonnie
 * Ib

Story
''Jenny, Nebula, Rose, and Jack are in the midst of a series of Turf Wars- and they are bombing- hard. While they wait for their next battle, they try and figure out what the problem is.'' ''Jack leads the way out of Deca Tower, but the foursome is surprised to find Lisa Loud waiting outside, try8ng to talk to the Inklings in Inkopolis Square.  The action shifts to the Loud House- there, the team tells Lisa that they must breach the home of the most feared villain on Earth.'' Lori eventually walks into Lisa’s room. Lori stops cold, and peeks into Lisa’s room. ''And so, the group sets out on their quest. But as the walk out, they found one more Loud sibling tagging along...'' Leni looks puzzled ''Their adventures next lead them towards a small group gathering. Neptune, Nepgear, Ib, Bonnie, and what appears to be an Agent Inkling all in one place.'' ''Jenny, Nebula, Lincoln and Lori all have their mouths agape in terrified awe. Jack looks unfazed at this, likely because of hos personal experience, and Lisa looks more puzzled than anything. Leni, meanwhile, is looking at Jenny’s Takroka Mesh'' "Thank you for the information."
 * Jenny: Alright, everyone. We’ve been hitting a major rough patch in our last few battles, but why?
 * Nebula: It cannot be our weapons- we‘ve been using them forver, and we have succeeded with them.
 * Rose: Maybe our opponents are just too good...
 * Jack: Actually, I think I know the problem- our gear.
 * Nebula: What? I- listen, bud. This Power Armor is not compact, but it gets the job done!
 * Jack: No, not like that! I mean, the quality of our gear might not be up to snuff with the premium gear, like the ones our opponents have.
 * Jenny: And you know this, how?
 * Jack: Pick enough fights like I do, and you get a sense for how to succeed. I think that cycloptic orange dude outside Deca Tower can help us.
 * Nebula: You mean Murch? But he only accepts Super Sea Snails! We have none of those, and I doubt a Splatfest is near.
 * Jack: Not to worry! I know a perfect place to get them! Before Galaximus attacked the city, I knew she was an outright beast in Splatfests. She has a haul of those things! Since she is not allowed to participate in Turf Wars anymore, I can only assume she has them stashed in her lair.
 * Rose: Wait- you mean we should *gulps* commit a robbery?
 * Jenny: Well.... think about it- she almost robbed us all of our lives! This could be a way to get back at her!
 * Nebula: I agree.
 * Jack: Then it’s settled! We gotta get those snails! TO THE LAIR!
 * Jenny: Lisa? What are you doing here?
 * Lisa: Hmm? Oh, greetings, blue squid and friends. I have come here to conduct some field research on these squid-human hybrids. Street name- Inklings.
 * Rose: What about Octolings?
 * Lisa: Wait- there are two species here? Science always continues to baffle me.
 * Jenny: Hey, you... junior scientist- care to join us a a heist?
 * Lisa: A heist? I see no point in that.
 * Jenny: But it’s important! It could- be a scientific revolution! You could conduct research on the Super Sea Snails! They are a wonderful resource that can enhance clothing!
 * Lisa: Enhance clothing?! Impossible.... yet, potentially a major breakthrough! Wait a minute- where exactly are these things located?
 * Nebula: Funny you should ask.... you see-
 * Lisa: They belong to that oversized sister of Jennys?!
 * Jack: Unfortunately....
 * Lisa: And what worries me is that she has been largely quiet lately- to us, at least. I instructed Lori to keep tabs on her activity- phones are capable of that, I suppose. LORI!
 * Lori: Do you mind, Lisa?! I’m trying to talk to Bobby!
 * Lisa: Any trace of Galaximus?
 * Lori: Still nothing. Now, unless it’s a life or death situation, I suggest you think twice before intruding on my life! *she angrily storms out*
 * Lisa: Very well then- I guess you don’t want- enhanced clothes.
 * Lori: Did you say- enhanched clothes?
 * Jenny: I don’t think it works on human-
 * Lisa: *she covers Jenny’s mouth* Yes indeed! Enhanced clothes!
 * Lori: Well- I suppose you could count me in on this. Besides, I have a date tommorow, and I need something that literally shines.
 * Lisa: Then it’s settled! Off we go!
 * Lincoln: I heard Lori yelling- is it safe to come out now?
 * Jenny: Well, we were just off to go on a heist in Galaximus’s Lair.
 * Lincoln: Really? Can I come? I always wanted to see what kind of place she lived in.
 * Jenny: Sure, Lincoln!
 * Leni: Hiiiiii guys!
 * Lori: *groans* Leni, this is a really dangerous scenario for you.
 * Lori: I know you like fashion, but... oh, what the heck. But if you screw up once, you are Galaximus food.
 * Leni: Funny- I don’t look like roasted calamari.
 * Jack: Alright, everyone! Lets move out!
 * Nepgear: Checkmate!
 * Neptune: Oh come on!
 * Nepgear: *laughs* You need to stop challenging me to board games I made myself...
 * Ib: I'm with Nepgear. What a dumb move.
 * Neptune: But what was I supposed to do?! We need quality sister time!
 * Ib: Wrong time, wrong place.
 * Bonnie: What did you three lose, anyway? Your homes last time?
 * Ib: Yeah.
 * Bonnie: Cute. I lost more than that. My friends. Family. My audience. And my purpose for my construction is now shattered. What is an entertainment robot to do without it?
 * ???: *inside Bonnie's head* Crush all of them who stand in your way...
 * Agent Inkling: *laughs* You're talking to the wrong people, bunny boy.
 * Jenny: Hello, everyone!
 * Neptune: Eyo! What's up? Nothing new? Maybe? I dunno, I'm just getting booored!
 * Nepgear: What she means to say is 'hi', 'how you doing' and 'what's new'.
 * Jack: You are craving something new! Then, boy, do I have the proposition for you!
 * Agent Inkling: Try not to bore us. What you got?
 * Jack: It’s a dangerous mission, but the rewards could be incredible! Who among you are brave enough to venture into the lair of the most feared of all cephalopod-human hybrid?
 * Nebula: Dun dun, DUN!
 * Lori: Look, we’re invading Galaximus’s Lair to steal these snails which, apparently, can enhance clothing. Seems I’m the only one here that can put things into literal sense.
 * Agent Inkling: I know 'em. Super Sea Snails.
 * Lisa: Calculating our combined strength, along with the fortifications of Galaximus’s Lair, our chances of survival are currently.... negative 153.
 * Lincoln: Boy, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine??
 * Agent Inkling: Mm, well... Death traps, hordes of goons... Nothing I've not dealt with before. I'm in.
 * Neptune: I could use the excercise! Let's do dis!
 * Nepgear: I'm not too sure... To be honest. Considering who it is?
 * Nebula: But we have bested her several times before! Anytime she tries to destroy us, she’ll fall flat on her face, every single time!
 * Bonnie: Then why do you make it sound dangerous? It can't be.
 * ???: *inside Bonnie's head* Nothing is dangerous if you take it with the right approach...
 * Rose: Guys, have you any idea what Galaximus does to intruders?
 * Jenny: Wait- you know what happens?
 * Rose: *nods* I used to be in the Galactic Army, remember? Why, I recall this one night... I was fast asleep, dreaming about something, can’t seem to remember what. But, anyways, I was awoken by a loud, thunderous noise. Startled, I peeked out of my room, and there I saw a trio of Inklings. I’m unsure of what they wanted to do, but they made too much ruckus in accomplishing it. Galaximus caught them, and carried them off. My curiousity peaked, a tiptoed after them, careful not to make a sound. As a matter of fact, I’m sure my life would be in jeopardy if Galaximus found out I was following her. She went into her room, and slammed the door. Luckily, being such a huge door for her size, I found a little crack to sneak in. What follows is something I can only describe as gruesome. She proceeded to devour them in the slowest, most painful way possible, as they begged for mercy and forgiveness. I quickly left the room, and on my way back to my room, I could still hear the screaming of the poor squids, and the maniacal laughter of that immortal behemoth.
 * Leni: Were hats like this always in style?
 * Agent 3: *sighs, readies her own gear* Does it matter or not to you?
 * Bonnie: Wait, how valuable even are these things? You know, just so I know what I'm missing out on.
 * Agent 3: Ah, you know - tons.

''Bonnie seems to get a black aura flooding from his arms and his legs into his eyes as he collapses - and a black cocoon forms. Sounds of mechanical parts combining sound out as the cocoon eventually fades and reveals a pitch black version - fully fixed - in his place.'' ''The group procesds to run off to Galaximus’s Lair. Strangely, the entrance is unguarded.'' ''Jack lets out a ear-shattering battle cry, and kicks the door. But it’s too strong for him- he recoils in pain, jumping up and down, uttering some Inkling words. He then proceeds to calmly open the front door. The group sees an Octoling playing fetch with a Chain Chomp, and some Twintacle Octotroopers taking a nap.  As if that triggered something, a army of Octosnipers and Skeleton Goonies appear and begin to attack.''
 * ???: It is good to be back!
 * Neptune: What the hell just happened?
 * Ib: Yeah, uh, explain?
 * Leni: I thought that butterflies came out of cocoons.
 * Jack: What- is- happening?
 * ???: Oh, that's easy. Your friend of which there was is my host. I live in the same mechanical body as him, and I grow stronger each passing second in negativity. I am his power, goals, and troubles reimagined into a stronger entity - but I can only promise you that you'll find that out the hard way...
 * Ib: What do you mean?
 * ???: I mean that I can't stick around. I have information to relay to the goddess. Shadow Bonnie - out. *warps away*
 * Ib: *pouty face* Well, there goes the element of surprise.
 * Jenny: We have to get a move on! If she finds out that we are coming, it‘s curtains!
 * Neptune: I agree! Let's go!
 * Agent 3: ...*nods* Right! Come on!
 * Jenny: Here we are- this harrowed place....
 * Ib: Let's just get in and get out - do what we said to do, and leave.
 * Nepgear: Right. We can probably expect to find not only Galaximus, obviously, but some minions and maybe even Shadow Bonnie inside. Here's hoping they don't rout us...
 * Jack: *gets out his Hydra Splatling* Well, we’ll be ready for them. Preapre yourselves...
 * Lisa: You were saying about the guards?
 * Agent 3: Oh, please. That's hilarious. *pulls out her Blaster* If it gets any worse than this, we're in trouble.
 * Neptune: Right. *spawns swords in both hands* Then let's hope it doesn't.
 * Rose: It’s almost too easy....
 * Jack: Well, that escalated quickly. *he starts to charge his Hydra Splatling*