Thread:Redfork2000/@comment-30384301-20190109034934/@comment-26888167-20190203131938

Cuboy is actually a good villain. He's got an interesting backstory, and he doesn't feel too similar to Emily Green nor Green Tea Cookie. Sure, there are some similarities, but he's isn't too similar to them.

Remember how you didn't make the gang fight each of the Nitro Maniacs separately? I think that might have backfired. See, there's a reason why I have the gang fight each of the superpowered villains separately in a Dr. Zack story, and it's not just to make the story longer. There's at least two or three reasons for why I do this.

1 - It gives me time to build up tension. If I just skipped straight to the part where the gang goes to Dr. Zack's base, it would lose part of the power that kind of moments have. You see, when I make the gang fight each minion separately, it starts to build up tension. Usually some battles against the minions already have created quite a challenge for the gang, who more often than not had to find smart ways of defeating them.

You've probably noticed by now that in Dr. Zack stories, I'm not a fan of the gang simply bashing through enemies mindlessly. I always make sure Dr. Zack's minions give the gang a challenge they have to think through. So by the time you reach Dr. Zack's base, the gang has already had decent challenges. Perhaps some plot twists have already happened. The plot turns much more complex. All of this gives Dr. Zack's base a much more tense feeling, since it really feels like the same build-up you feel in videogames when you know you're close to fighting the final boss. If the gang went to Dr. Zack's base from the start, then most of that tension would be ruined, and it would feel just like it feels when the gang goes to defeat more ordinary villains like Re-Peat Boss or Bright Spark.

2 - It gives me a chance to develop my characters. I going to tell you, I think the reason the Nitro Maniacs don't seem like they'll be very memorable characters is because they didn't have proper introductions. You see, when I make the gang fight each of the superpowered villains separately, it gives each of them a chance to be properly introduced. You get a feeling for who these characters are, what their poewrs are, they become memorable because you get to know them better.

The problem with tossing them all at once is that this doesn't allow a proper introduction of each separate character. I'm pretty sure Boom, Electra, Blade, Scorch, Miss Bloomina, Payton Piranha, Scorch, Boulder, Splash, Tempo, Breeze and the other superpowered characters that have worked for Dr. Zack's plans would be a lot less memorable if they had all been introduced at once. See, by introducing them separately, and giving the gang a chance to interact with each of them separately, they get a proper introduction. They each get a moment to shine. Furthermore, they feel less like plot devices.

You see, when these characters are introduced separately before going to Dr. Zack's base, they each become a significant character on their own. When the gang goes to take down that character, that character is the main focus of the story at the moment, which means they get the attention they need to introduce themselves correctly. This, together with a memorable personality, is what makes this work. The problem with introducing new characters during the section of the story where the gang is running through the base, is that any minions the gang comes across feel more like obstacles then actual villains. Think about Bob the Blob for example. When the gang fights him, they're usually making their way through Dr. Zack's base, and they suddenly come across a room that has him in it. But since the gang is now focused on making it through the rooms and get to Dr. Zack, Bob the Blob seems more like an obstacle than an actual significant antagonist. That's fine though, since that's what I was going for with him after all. But imagine if someone like Electra had been introduced like that. It wouldn't have been the same.

This is why I think Ink Burst is the less memorable of the three PHX. While Ink Splash had her own intro story, and PHX-001's appearance drastically changed things for Ink Splash, and revealed more about Ace's past, PHX-001's appearance had a heavy impact. But Ink Burst simply appeared near the end of The Superpowered Expansion while the gang was going through Dr. Zack's base, and since she didn't develop any major plot points to make up for it, she was easily just perceived as another obstacle. Ink Burst had more potential for a better introduction than that, but I've made sure to make up for that mistake by having Ink Burst become Dr. Zack's second-in-command.

Overall, I think you could've done both of these things better if you had introduced each of the Nitro Maniacs separately.

Yes, I understand. That's why I'm giving you detailed advice on how to improve. It's one of the things that really helped me become a better writer, together with years of experience. You already understand many concepts of character development, creating good memorable characters, and developing good story ideas. I've noticed it specially when you give Chilly advice. You're already a good writer, and I'm sure as time goes by, you'll become even better.